I was cast out of my typical mediocre attitude by an understanding of our calling to the cross. Jesus is asking us to join Him, to lift just a splinter of the wood that He carries for us. In accepting this suffering, we are truly children of the Father, for God allowed His very Son to bear the suffering of us all. I cannot conform myself to this age but rather must be transformed by the renewal of my mind. As Fr. Andrew reminded us in his Holy Thursday homily, our society is about nonconformity, yet we are called to conform ourselves to Christ. It is then that we become most truly ourselves. And as St. Irenaeus declared, "The glory of God is man fully alive."
One small blessing from this week: As of Thursday, I had yet to make my Lenten almsgiving. I knew I could write out a check for any sum of money and give it to a charity or to the parish, but somehow it wasn't meaningful to me. I realized that a greater personal sacrifice would be to give all the loose change I had been collecting over the past year, of which I was very proud. I dumped it all out and counted it...thirty dollars and some cents. Judas' thirty pieces of silver! I am he. I have betrayed and denied Jesus. I have failed to trust in His infinite mercy and love. O Lord, forgive me, your servant. Bring me back to you!
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