Approaching my new life

I wrote this over a week ago and never published it.

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What a summer this has been.  Graduating from college, immediately to 5 weeks of missionary training, back for 5 weeks of fundraising, and amid that was a wedding and a reunion.  I’m optimistic for the future, looking ahead to my work at SDSU, but so intimidated at the thought of newness and the unknown path that lies before me.  I’ve never liked change, even from the time I was a little girl; I’m told that I cried at the prospect of exchanging our old refrigerator for a new one, simply because it would not be the same.  I’ve grown up since then but still I mourn the loss of the old life, even if the new one promises great opportunity and growth.

I love Severna Park.  I love that I know the surrounding areas, that nothing I would need is farther than a bike ride away.  I love our house – it’s the only home I remember.  I love our parish and the community that I grew up in.  Much as I complain about the humidity, I love that there’s a little of every season in Maryland, my favorite of course being spring.

I love the closeness of my family.  Being a part of my parents’ daily life and yet having the freedom to live semi-independently has been the best of both worlds.  My sister just a short plane ride away, I’m so grateful for those long weekends I can spend at her apartment.  And another benefit of living near home is never being too far away when my brother happens to drop in for a visit.

I’ll miss the atmosphere and the people.  I’ll miss the comfortable feeling of not having to put on an extra-friendly attitude because I can just be myself around those who know me.

I don’t want to start over in a new place.  I don’t want to try to make friends.  I don’t want to feel like I have to impress people.  I don’t want them to know how far I still have to go in my faith journey.