I received some wise words today from a meeting with my chaplain and team director. Fr. Andrew's advice to me was to pray that I might learn to abide in God's love. Let me assure you, this sounds much simpler than it is.
I told them that, even with the knowledge that God has called me to this position, I fear failure. Fr. Andrew assured me that I will indeed fail, as do all missionaries, and he gave me permission to "fail big," provided that I remain faithful.
Finally, Glen suggested that he senses I need to learn to be vulnerable, both as a team member and in my relationships with students. This goes hand-in-hand with my lack of trust in others and in God. Not abandoning yourself completely to the Lord can be dangerous in the life of a missionary, even financially. If I try to raise funds on my own, relying on "my" gifts and talents, I will fall short. It is only when I begin to trust in my Father's unconditional love and desire to provide for me and recognize that all good gifts come from Him that I will bear fruit.
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